Gift (German) / Poison - R.#1

Gift – das Gift (German) means “Poison” (english)

Why i am looking at this word specifically today is, that i was looking up the exact definition of “toxic” and “toxicicity” during investigations and toxic – pointed me to “giftig/gift” and looking that up, in the entymological dictionary revealed that the german word “Gift” (Posion) till the 15-16^th century meant a positive thing, a endowment, gift (english), present or talent etc. something one was “gifted with”, like a particular skill or strenght and only THEN the definition of the word switched (was switched?) to mean “poison/toxicant” which seems to me like the meaning of the word was “artificially” changed or reprogrammed.

"talented, endowed by nature with some skill or power," GIFTED (1640s, from https://www.etymonline.com)

I find if fascinating that and ask myself why this definition was changed/switched to such a degree and what comes up for me now it, that there is a (extreme) polarity – one point emerges about the valuation and the effect this valuation of a word has within my mind – the importance of “how i look at a word” and how it is “framed” in consciousness.

There is also the famous saying of Paracelsus that “Poison is in everything and no-thing is without poison – alone the dosage makes it either a poison or a remedy” - Bringing it back to self, this is a message of balance and moderation, which is something i have to self-directily introduce to myself...moderation and balance is a action of “working with reality, with the way things actually exist” - be it IN ONES own MIND or the external world/reality, which obviously is deeply intercontected. It is a real-time action of awareness and responsibility, like not trying to impose a premade “one-size-fits-it-all solution” onto myself, situations, moments...we need to assess situations, moments and forth in real time and then take responsible action that will lead to best outcome for all.

This points to my tendency of being judgemental and moral, to see things as “blackorwhite” not seeing that this is a mind-construct in it self. So reminding me of the “gift-aspect” in everything i see as toxic, that is accessible if/as i use it in the correct dose and way can be one aspect of redefining this word in a supportive way.

What also comes up is how i have been and am often judging and blaming my own mind within and the world-system without for litterally being “toxic”, polluting and destroying everything and making everything worse and bad – i can say that there is also a definitive fear, insecurity and powerless-experience within me towards my own mind (and the world system) that is essentially the foundational level of this pattern/point within me, in between, there is anger, blame, competition, fighting, conflict, friction and so on to my own mind... and to particular patterns or points, for example “comparison” or jealousy or blame are some challenging points. So, essentially i still see the mind/conscousness (or at least parts of it) as “pure evil” and bad/negative, absolutely useless and so on – which also apparent in the way i react to myself with any of these “negative” aspects/parts of me emerge within me (i see that calling it “parts” is/sounds more effective , as in stating it is a part of me, i already acknowledge that it indeed is me/belongs to me. “Aspect” sounds more like something that is more like a “perspective” or depending on the “way i look at it” - part is something that IS and is always the same, until i ACTUALLY change it).

So what i see now is that in all those parts of me that i judge, condemn, blame, see as poison or toxic...it in fact a GIFT, and they can as well be a remedy – and that indeed i need to Understand and USE my mind in the correct way...also that those heavy points we are struggling with in our lifes may in fact be/contain a great gift, that we may be gifted with, if/as we give ourselves the curage, strenght, will and dedication to turn things around and reverse-engineer those parts of ourselfes and turn the toxic/poison into the remedy.

Maybe it´s also no coincidence that those parts of ourselves, that hold the greatest keys to our self-transformation and change, are those parts that connected to the most judgement, fear, blame and thus the places where we least likely want to go to? Why were we programmed with fear and judgement towards “external” “poisonous” manifestations like plants and animals, as well as “internally” towards “bad/negative/toxic thoughts” or parts of ourselves, when those hold the key to changing ourselves the most?

It is also interesting, to see that i face this “blackandwhite” attitude a lot with my current occupation where i am looking at how to assess toxicity or harmful influence of chemicals on the environment and what i find is that there is always a (supossedly) positive aspect or function or property of the chemical which we use it for, and on the other hand, its effects on the the environment, nature and animals, the ecosystems...what i became aware of is that within me i definatly tend to have a “radical, absolutist” stance and a lot of judgments and blame, like “WE NEED TO STOP THE FUCKING SHIT IMMEDIATELY; we are destroying everything, we are the worst idiots, the scum/cancer of the earth”, which is acompanied by a strong energy of FEAR, Stress, PANIC...and eventually defeatism, giving up towards all that. And a stance/opinion that we should “just ban it all”, “just stop it, i dont know, just stop that shit”...lol heavy shit, indeed.

A dimension in this is, that when i look at what would be/are the actually solutions, it seems “impossible”, “too complicated”, “(too) extensive” as when i look at it, i face the problem of “human programming/brainwashing”, like i see that the solutions for humanity and our relationship to this planet are Self-Awareness, Understanding who we really are as life, Self-Honesty...and from there actual corrective action can flow. So, question is “How do we/i get people to understand and consider that the real source and solution to environmental problems/pollution is internal, is the awareness of our starting-points, the principles and believes we are living etc.” and with this, i am exactly at my own points of responsibility and correction.

Basically “Poison” or “Remedy” is a Mind-Set – also indicated in the fact, that the meaning of a word could shift and be shifted in consciousness, which can be used to work with my self more effectively, looking at myself as a Form of Remedy and ACTING accordingly. Develop a mind-set based on self-remedy instead of self-poisioning

So – to make this more practical for myself to work with:

• Find/list the parts of myself i judge, condemn, blame as bad/negative/toxic
• Understand and translate what that point/my mind is actually communicating to me – Who am i in this point? Why/how do i see this point as a problem?
• Define and Redefine who i decide to be in/as that point – give Self direction that is/would be best for all life. What is the Gift/s? What is the solution in this point? How do i make and live it into a remedy instead of a poison?
• Live the Definition or Redefinition of my Self.